Self-Compassion for My Limbic System:

A Lesson from My Dog

The Morning Walk

I was in my mid-twenties and in graduate school. On a breezy spring morning, my dog Lucy and I were out for our usual walk when we came across a white plastic bag caught in some vines and billowing in the wind.

Lucy went on high alert. Her ears perked, her nose twitched, and she locked eyes on this strange object. When the bag rustled in the breeze, the hair on her back stood up and she began barking.

I tried to keep walking, but she was frozen in place.

From Impatience to Empathy

My first thought was, Oh, come on, silly girl, it’s just a plastic bag. Let's finish our walk, I’ve got to get to class.

But then empathy swept over me.

Lucy didn’t know what a grocery bag was. What she did know was how to protect, herd, and stay alert. These traits were deeply wired into her as a working dog.

She wasn’t being stubborn. A danger alarm had gone off in her brain.

So, I slowed down. With gentle encouragement and a few treats, I coaxed her closer. Step by step, her fear faded. Soon, she realized everything was okay, and we continued on our way.

The Aha Moment

Later that day, it hit me: Lucy wasn’t going to spend the rest of her day judging herself for barking at a false alarm.

But me? I often criticized myself for my own “false alarms," emotions like fear, anger, jealousy, or sadness.

That was my aha moment. I could be compassionate toward Lucy’s instinctual reactions, but I wasn’t offering the same compassion to my own limbic system responses.

Our Shared Limbic System

Humans and dogs are different, of course, but we share a key similarity: both of us have a limbic system.

This part of the brain regulates emotions like fear, rage, anxiety, and grief. These emotions exist for survival. They’re the body’s way of signaling potential danger.

Yet, in our culture, logic is often prized over emotion. We learn to suppress our feelings, to smile and act like everything is fine. We internalize the belief that emotions aren’t trustworthy, and then use the thinking part of our brain to criticize ourselves for having them.

Listening to Emotions Without Letting Them Rule

Of course, emotions shouldn’t run our lives or justify harmful actions. But they do carry important information.

Take anger. We want to avoid lashing out, but on a primal level anger could be signaling that a boundary has been crossed or that something feels unfair.

Or sadness. You may not want to sink into it, but sadness often points to something deeply valued, reminding you of your capacity to love and connect.

Consider anxiety. You may not want to live in a state of constant worry, but anxiety can alert you to uncertainty or potential danger.

And grief. You may not want to be consumed by it, but grief honors the importance of your bond with what you’ve lost.

Even if, upon reflection, you realize your limbic system sent a “false alarm,” you can still thank it for having your survival, safety, and wellbeing in mind.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Approaching emotions with curiosity, rather than judgment, helps resolve inner conflict. It helps you feel more whole and aligned with your true needs and desires.

So, the next time you notice a strong emotion, pause. Ask yourself:

• What might this feeling be trying to tell me?

• Can I appreciate that my body and brain are simply trying to keep me safe?

  
  

And if you struggle with self-criticism, remember Lucy and the plastic bag. Treat yourself with the same compassion and patience you’d offer your loyal companion and best friend.

#stress #emotionalregulation #selfcompassion